It's like Tales from the Crypt, only scarier!

First of all, if you've never seen People of Walmart, and you're not currently eating, you must go to this site. Utterly hilarious. Updated several times daily.

On to my story. Today I recieved a delightful little plush otter in the mail and I decided to hang it on my car mirror. Of course, I couldn't find any clips in my house to put it up with so I went to Wal*Mart (since it was near the dentist) to see if I couldn't find one. Right next to the rakes and the flame-throwers, right Bob Smiley? Anyways, I got there, parked and went on my search. I actually had to call a few people to see if they might know where they were, and in the end I settled for metal book rings (which were much cheaper) from the school supplies section.

Now, in my Wal*Mart, that area is located on the left side. However I parked on the right side of the building so I passed all the registers on the left side and went to check out on the other side. I figured I'd be safe with my 2 items (I got Funyuns too... nomnomnom) in an express lane. I usually don't like using these lanes and in fact use self-checkout as much as possible, but this was the lane that was open.  Well, I was only behind 2 groups, so I figured I'd be out and through.

My mistake. I got behind 3 strange looking ladies (one of whom was speaking in a distinct African dialect) and waited for the one person ahead of them to finish. As the first person moved on, the 3 ladies began pulling items out of their cart. Item after item went on to the counter, and I began to count when I realized that there were wayy too many in their cart. The Wal*Mart express lane is for 20 items or less, and I think they realized that as they were going through because one of them started taking things out of the cart and putting them around the checkout area. Don't you love it when people do that? She took her 6 pack of Pepsi out and stacked it on top. Took a thing of Twizzlers out and put it with the beef jerky on the other side. Then she grabbed a single green pepper and put it in with the Eclipse Gum. That one killed me.

Well, I kept counting, and I ended on 23. That included a huge roll of toilet paper, 2 6 packs of Budweiser, and some small appliance. Needless to say, there was a lot of stuff going through, and a lot of time being spent. Now, I had chosed this aisle because the one next to me had 5 people queued in front of it, and I wanted to take the shorter line. However, as the ladies bagged their items, it became increasingly apparent to me that I should have picked another lane. Oh well. It was time for them to pay. But, the last item to be scanned (the Budweiser) caused quite an uproar when the ladies flipped out when asked for their ID. Now, you could tell by looking at them that none of them were anywhere near 21 (or even 31, for that matter), but there are signs at all the registers saying that they ID anyone who "looks younger than 40". But all 3 of them flipped out and got hissy with the cashier when asked. Then they all acted like they didn't have their IDs, and one finally produced one.

I figured this was the end of the fun with them, but I was wrong. When it came time to pay, one of the ladies proceeded to argue with the cashier about the price of the toilet paper. Anything to save a buck, right? Well when she finally pulled out her card to pay, she couldn't get it swiped in the machine. I got a glance at her card and let me tell you, it was no credit card I've ever seen. I noticed that their IDs were from New York, so maybe it was something about that. Either way, the one lady who spoke the foreign language kept hovering to the side and almost behind the cashier. They kept swiping their cards, and nothing was happening. The poor cashier (who was extremely timid about the whole ordeal) kept asking them to swipe again, and finally asked them to read the numbers to punch them in by hand. The African lady then went behind the cashier's area and stood behind the lady as they read off the numbers. I could tell the poor cashier was getting frightened but there was nobody around to help her. I personally was afraid that Wal*Mart was about to get robbed, so I was on my guard.

After punching in the numbers, they still couldn't get the card to go through. This led to a lengthy argument, in which I decided it was time to step away. I had waited a whole 10 minutes already for these ladies to finish, and now there was a lane beside me open. I stepped over to the now open self-checkout (which I had not noticed was operation before), swiped my two items, and got the heck out of there. It was so ridiculous that I had to actually call someone and tell them what had happened.

And now I've told all of you. I hope this brought a little joy into your day. From now on I must remember to just go to the first self-check I see and scoot.

Bless you all.

I figured I would write this just for nostalgia. I'm selling a handful of my PS3 games for the holiday season. My former treasures can be someone elses Christmas Joy :)

When I bought my PS3 I got 5 games with it to begin with. They were The Orange Box, Bioshock, NHL 2K9, FaceBreaker, and Battlefield Bad Company.

I got The Orange Box because I wanted to give Half Life 2 a shot, and I had always heard great things about Team Fortress 2. TF2 still gets played with regularity at my house, while I've kind of outdone Half Life. I played it off and on for a few months, but I eventually got bored with it. I'm not sure what did it, but I lost interest in it. It's got a great story, great weapons and graphics, and I may someday pick it back up again.

NHL 2K9 was the first game I really played at length (it took me a while to really get into TF2) being that it was my first sports game. I had played 7 Franchise seasons, 2 NFL Superstar seasons, and finished the Fantasy Challenge on Madden 09 for the PS2 so I was ready for some time off of football. Actually, now that I think of it, I bought NHL 09 first but was greatly disappointed so I exchanged it for 2K9. I played 2K9 all the way through the playoffs (winning the Stanley Cup in 7 against the Lightning) before I put it away. I was disappointed by the way contracts worked, and by the lack of a new schedule. Trades were a bit hokey too, as were injuries.  I am just now selling it, but I would recommend the 2K series because the actual hockey action was fairly good (if not for the awful goalie play).

I had played BioShock when I spent time with Rose and Josh and that is what lead me to purchase it. It's a great game with some wicked features and twisted graphics, but I outgrew it as well. It was a good game, though, but I had already played it out with Josh. I then  gave FaceBreaker a shot because I had enjoyed their commercials and always liked boxing games. I got through a handful of opponents and unlocked some cool stuff before hitting a brick wall in advancement.  I actually ended up almost throwing my controller through the wall after an ugly loss to Ice. I knew then that it was time to put this one down.  Not much to say about this game. I would probably give it the lowest rating of any of the games I've played so far on the PS3.

After that, we come to the franchise that can do no wrong. Battlefield. Bad Company had a new game engine which, for lack of a better word, was AWESOME! The gameplay was fun, though your teammates never died and were rarely ever much help on killing enemies. The dialog was hilarious, the graphics real and the "Heal Yourself" tool made the gameplay much quicker and more lively. I later downloaded Battlefield 1943 which is more along the lines of team play and capturing control points, like it's predecessor, Battlefield 1942. It, however, is located solely on the Pacific side of the war. Two excellent games that I would highly recommend. I can't wait for Bad Company 2.

Of course, after all this madness, I had to get a football game. I decided upon Blitz 2: The League. I had always loved the Blitz series, and this one was no let down. Frank Caliendo was hilarious as the announcers, and the gameplay was (as usual) ridiculous. But in a good way. The injury cutscenes were sweet, as well as the healing things. I played through the game and beat it (not without having to try the Prison game a dozen times due to injury) and sold it since it was still fairly new at the time. Nowadays I kind of miss it, but it's replacement had to be Madden 10. Any guy out there can relate to me when I say that you can't go wrong with Madden, either. This game is deeper and more realistic then any Madden game before it. The tackling/fighting for yards is incredible, the AI is smarter, and yet it's still easy to learn. Well done fellas.

My buddy Luis is probably the only person I personally know who has a fervor for games like I do. Well, his is 10x more, but we love our PS3's. Both of us have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of God Of War 3, but in the meantime we've shared some sweet games between us. He let me borrow a couple games from him, the first being Dark Sector. It took me a long, long time to get into this game. But I played it seriously for about 2 months before finally giving up on it. The thing that drew me in to the game was the Glaive, which is this ridiculous 3 edged blade that the hero of the story grows on his arm after being infected by a deadly virus. In the end, it was the difficulty of that weapon that drew me away from the game. Give me a gun and some bullets and I'm usually a happy guy. Dark Sector was very different from other games in the unpredictability of it's main weapon. It was good, and if you like that kind of thing, then this is definitely the game for you. I got 9 or 10 chapters in but couldn't finish because of the frustration it caused me.

The other game he let me play was Viking: Battle for Asgard. I had almost bought this game a few days before he showed me that he had it. It's a fun game, despite being a little slow at times. Hack hack hack hack... your attack combos at the beginning are kind of weak but they eventually progress to better things. If you like Vikings, then this game will keep you entertained. I got to a point on the 2nd island where I absolutely could not find the rest of the artifact I was looking for (the Red Skull, and trust me I looked through every walkthrough and attempted to follow every map) so I gave up on that one too. After beating the first island I was kind of bored by the game as well. It was a bit too repetitive for me.

Most recently, Luis let me borrow Haze. I wanted to buy this game when it first game out but didn't have the money. I kind of wish I had now, because this game is beyond sweet. Best shooter game I've played yet. The first half of the story line was fun, but a little easy and your teammates ended up being slightly annoying as well. The 2nd half has been quite the test of skill and strategy, with mine-laying and playing dead featured in your "arsenal". It's fun, and I'm wondering how the game will end.

I have also recently purchased IL-2 Sturmovik because I love flight sims (Top Gun anyone?), and NHL 10, hoping that it will be better than last years model. I never had a problem with the EA NHL franchise before 09, so I'm hoping they ironed out the flaws of 09. I have also dabbled in Guitar Hero 3, but my sister is more into those games.

Anyone else play PS3? If so, and if you're online - add me - Raiderjester. If you have a Wii, you get 0 points. If you play Xbox, that's fine. I like Xbox and their games, but I like the Playstation franchise better.